Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize