he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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