I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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