Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize