Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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