they need to just BURY HIM!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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