Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize