Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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