I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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