I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize