Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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