I bet he comes in French.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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