I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize