areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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