He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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