I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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