Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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