Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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