The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Success! We fucked roommates!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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