Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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