I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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