Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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