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my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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