I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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