I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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