Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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  (919): I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts. http://tfl.nu/d6ex
  Replies (32) Good night (3525) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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  (248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i
  Replies (78) Good night (12367) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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  (575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno
  Replies (24) Good night (4153) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.

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  (937): someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome. http://tfl.nu/42y4
  Replies (12) Good night (4798) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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  (352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2
  Replies (23) Good night (2117) Bad night (3281) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

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  (513): First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action... http://tfl.nu/keaf
  Replies (13) Good night (966) Bad night (6456) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1254) Bad night (3544) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

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  (502): so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done http://tfl.nu/tthp
  Replies (10) Good night (3906) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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  (907): I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer. http://tfl.nu/7gfq
  Replies (13) Good night (3767) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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  (703): He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days. http://tfl.nu/iucs
  Replies (16) Good night (1392) Bad night (5421) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

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  (781): I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it. http://tfl.nu/04ep
  Replies (13) Good night (2863) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.

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  (412): I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight. http://tfl.nu/4uel
  Replies (7) Good night (2450) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

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  (252): We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/vj5r
  Replies (11) Good night (2377) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.

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  (770): Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer. (770): Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand. http://tfl.nu/1fds
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (237)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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  (908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt

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