if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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