You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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