i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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