Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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