If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize