i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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