If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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