I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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