Please, let me fuck your mom
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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