Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh god it's open bar.
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