before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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