I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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