Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize