gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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