I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize