It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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