Just fell off a train. Bad.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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