You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize