Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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