Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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