she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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