Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize