Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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