I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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